What it's Like Living at Home in my 20's - The Downside

Initially, I was going to write one long post about the pros and cons of living at home in your 20s but I’ve decided to break it up into 2 posts. Living at home can be great but it can also suck. When you’re in your twenties; you have your own ideas about what a home should be like and how things should be done and when those views and opinions clash with the actual homeowner; it can lead to some unwanted tension.

My sister who’s in her early twenties moved out last year to go off to varsity and since I am doing distance learning to get my degree; I live at home because I can’t afford to move out. Living at home is nice but sometimes I feel like I am suffocating; I don’t really have a place to call my own except for my bedroom but my mom has access to that too.

My mom and I have different opinions about when and how certain things should be done. For example, when it comes to washing dishes my mom flips if there are dirty plates in the sink but I see it as a waste of water to keep washing plates every time someone eats and we don’t have a dishwasher. I was planning on getting one this year but due to financial issues; I can forget it. I also hate cleaning up after grown people; there are no kids in this house yet things like milk don’t get put back into the fridge (god knows why) and if I don’t put it back for whatever reason I get shit for it. I am a neat person generally; I clean up after myself so it really bugs me that other people can’t do the same. It makes me miss living alone.

I also can’t have a guest over for the night; not that I am seeing anyone at the moment but I don’t even have that option. You can’t get busy in ya mommas house; it’s just a no-no, gotta do it elsewhere. I am never even home alone; not even like for me to chill by myself and do my own things, my mom is a homebody just like me.  I have at times resorted to getting laid in my car which as you can imagine, is not ideal. I drive a Kia, my baby is tiny! Not to mention the risk of getting arrested should I get caught. What would I even tell my rents I was doing? Getting nasty in my back seat?! I think not. I also miss being alone sometimes; it was pure bliss.

The other thing that bugs me is that I have no say in the kinds of people I have around me at times and locking myself in my room is not enough. There are some people I would never have anywhere near me if I had the choice, because of who they are, that I tolerate because well; it’s not my house so they come and hang out here when they want. My mom is not the type of person to tell or ask anyone who’s rude or unfriendly to leave; she accommodates EVERYONE and sometimes I feel it’s at my expense. My aunt’s “boyfriend” is one of them. That man is one of the rudest people I have ever met. He comes over and tells us that we are making the noise and switches TVs off or reduces the volume like he owns the place and my mom just lets him. He is just not a pleasant person to be around; my sister and I literally get up and leave the room when he enters the house because we just can’t deal. I have asked the man to leave on more than one occasion and he just keeps coming back. Like I said, it’s not my house so I don’t have a say. I can huff and puff all I want and characters like him will keep coming back because they can. It’s not my house…

Sometimes I tell myself I want to study all weekend then out of nowhere there are people over and it’s a party when I am supposed to be studying. I just have to deal with it because I don’t really have a choice and I don’t often have enough petrol to leave and go and study elsewhere. It does affect my studies to an extent but I try my best to get good grades regardless. Then there are gatherings on Sunday's when I am on study leave and guess who has to clean up the party mess on Monday morning when she's supposed to be studying... Me! Guys, am I being a spoilt brat or am I being unreasonable? Are some of you out there going through the same thing? Is it not as bad as I am making it out to be?

If I had my shit together then I could leave but unfortunately at this point in time; that is not the case. I AM STRUGGLING!!! Emotionally, financially; I am a mess. Until I can get myself a better job; I have no choice but to live at home and it’s proving to be a difficult task. Sometimes I can literally feel myself boiling inside. I know that there’s a saying that goes something like,” if you don’t like something; change it and if you can’t change it, change your attitude” believe me I have tried adjusting my attitude, I am trying every day. I am a sensitive person by nature and many things affect me emotionally even when I know they shouldn’t.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to have a roof over my head but sometimes the price I have to pay just sucks.

Keep a lookout for the flipside of this post coming soon...

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Feeling Stuck | Blogtober Day 24

At my age; I feel like I should be out of my parents house; married or not but realistically speaking that is not an option right now. Now here I am feeling stuck!

Before you conclude that I'm lucky to even have that option and I just sound like a spoilt brat, hear me out....

My mom has a drinking problem and it has made my relationship with her and living with her painful. What do I mean by this? I mean almost every day I must talk myself out of a bad mood that I 'm in because of something she's said or done. It's exhausting! How many of you guys have ha to live with an alcoholic parent who has BEEN in denial and keeps saying they are not ready for help?

Every since my father left my mom has turned into someone I don't want to be associated with even more. We have always had our issues; mostly because of her personality and the way she is in general and shes my mother, like what can I do? But now it's just gone to a whole other level. If she's not angry, she's drunk and doing things I just can't  stand. I won't go into detail but let me just say; I don't feel that home is a healthy environment for me anymore and hasn't been for a long time.

I guess what pisses me off the most about my mother's drinking is the fact that my life isn't progressing as fast as I thought it would and as a result I'm still living at home and I can't really go anywhere because I can't afford to and I just feel stuck. My life didn't go like I had planned, I didn't graduate when I thought I would; in fact I started over and now I feel like I'm paying the price. If I had, then I wouldn't even be witnessing anything. Now it's my problem too because I'm still here.

It's weird though how it always really escalates during exams. As if exams alone aren't stressful enough!

It's not even 11am yet and they are already drinking wine! Yesterday I was woken up by noise at 6am in the morning; which is unusual for a Saturday. My mom and aunt were still drunk from the night before and talking at the top of their voices and playing loud music while I still trying to sleep. The real problem is that it's actually exam season and I don't have the time or energy to be dealing with this right now. It's HARD!!!  All of my energy should be poured into my studies right now instead I'm dealing with a person who's drunk.

I don't know what to do anymore. Usually people's siblings try to help them out and give some guidance but my aunt is actually part of the problem. She has her own issues and I feel  like she's just happy to have someone to drown in misery with otherwise she would be trying to help. I've tried so many times to sit the 2 of them down and address this issue and as usual  my aunt plays the victim and somehow it becomes about her when it was supposed to be about helping my mom.And it be your own family not supporting you too ; you'd think her sister would try to get her help but nope;she's right up there with her being her drinking buddy. Sometimes I hate them both.  I also feel like my mom doesn't even have proper friends and as a result she doesn't really have much of a support system except my younger sister and me. I know I shouldn't give up but I really have lost my patience. I can't be here anymore, not even when she's sober. My mom needs help but she refuses to  get it and keep saying she's not ready. She hasn't been ready for years!

In all honesty I am starting to stop caring. I get bothered less and less with each drunken episode; I don't even feel embarrassed anymore. I've tried to tell her that she needs to stop drinking completely and she keeps making excuses. She's in denial about the fact that she's an alcoholic. In case you're wondering why I am using the word alcoholic it's because of the way my mom goes about the drinking. She knows my sister and I give her a hard time about it so she hides it. I was looking for a specific pot in the back of the kitchen cupboard and found a box of wine I'm assuming she was trying to hide because why else would it be there? Same goes for the squeeze bottle I found in her shoe closet whilst looking for something. Sometimes I talk to her and we have a good laugh then she'll disappear into her room for like half an hour, next thing she's slurring her words and can't even walk straight. It's ridiculous. If that's not the definition of an alcoholic; I don't know what is!

I honestly don't know how much longer I can live like this but it worries me what would happen if I wasn't here because my mom's left the stove on while cooking and just decided she was going to bed (no she wasn't sober); if I wasn't home that night I don't even want to begin to imagine what might have happened.

I'm not gonna lie; I was happy when my mom was out of town almost a month and she annoyed me from the minute I fetched her from the bus-stop. It's the same shit all the damn time. First thing in the morning and the woman is already complaining about something. Yes I was a little late to fetch her but I didn't do it on purpose. She has never fetched me on time because she has no respect for time! The reason I started driving myself to work everyday even though she works a few streets away from me is because she was always making me late and made zero effort to even try to move any faster in the morning. I hated it!

I really thought that things would change after she visited my gran for almost a month. I thought she would get the support she needed from her other siblings (not the one she drinks with every weekend; you know I actually asked them the other day why they never do anything besides drinking cheap wine. I have never heard or seen them making lunch or dinner plans or even going to the mall together  or doing anything besides drinking together). Well she came back very much the same. We actually had a fight the night before she left because she was drinking and I remember angrily saying I hope he returns with a better outlook on life. That didn't happen!

I wish she would get the help she needs to move on. If I didn't need them financially I'd be long gone but here I am degree less and struggling to find a job to afford the luxury of my own space. It's so frustrating. I feel like I'm the only 20 something year old who's life is like this and feels trapped. I can't progress; or rather I'm not progressing fast enough even for my own liking. Thee more stressed I am, the more I fail, the longer it takes for me to get a degree, the longer I'm stuck here. You see my problem? I feel stuck!

So on the 20th some family friends came over to celebrate their graduation. Guess who the drunker person at the celebration was? Honestly maybe I shouldn't be bothered or embarrassed this much but I am. I'm constantly between the stages of getting really pissed off and not giving a shit.

I know some of you are thinking "this ungrateful bitch!". Having a mother that pisses you off every single weekend because of her drinking is not a blessing ;it's just not! I could use less stress in my life. Yes I get it, her husband left but I mean geez; when will she get the professional help she needs. She keeps saying she's not ready and she hasn't been "ready" for like 2 years! My own sister has told me she feels sorry for me; she moved to another city for school so she doesn't witness anything anymore. I don't even have a sense of relief anymore because I'm dealing with the drinking alone. At least when my sister was here I had a distraction; someone who understood how and way I feel the way I do.

This post probably sounds like someone who's just ranting and raving but I needed to get this off my chest so that I can actually concentrate when I study. I struggle to compartmentalise and it will be my downfall. I need to get good grades. I really envy the relationship other girls and family friends have with their moms; mine looks healthy from a distance because people see her bringing me lunch (which happens after we fight) but it's really not. I don't know how to remedy the situation because the only solution right now seems to be moving out; which I really can't afford. It's depressing! Feeling stuck...

Anyways I guess you can't really help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. I have suggested she go see a professional and she doesn't want to. She has convinced herself that church will help but personally I don't see a difference. She drinks after church as well as while watching TBN so...

I'm also tired of being the adult and calling people out for unacceptable behaviour. My aunt had this friend who acts like a boyfriend but isn't. Every time he comes here he does something rude or disrespectful. I actually think he's racist but he won't make it obvious but it's also confusing because my aunt is black (he's white by the way). He doesn't tolerate other black people outside of my family, well at least not any of the ones that visit and he treats my aunt like shit. I find his negative energy draining and unnecessary to be around but he comes to my home. I've told him to leave so many times but my mother keeps letting him come back, god knows why; another reason why I so desperately need to move out. It's not my house so I guess I don't really have a say in who comes and goes which is really difficult for me at times. I bet you that man will be here again for Christmas (eyes rolling).

Alcoholism is no joke; it's a serious health problem! We must learn to deal with our issues in a healthy and positive way. We all go through difficult times in life but if you feel that it's too much for you, seek help! It might not seem all that bad but alcohol does serious damage to your body. It also has a negative effect on personal relationships with friends and family; some people even end up losing their jobs. If someone who is struggling with this is reading this post, please seek professional help, if you don't want to do it for yourself then do it for the ones you love.

I honestly fear the holiday season at home because I know exactly what is going to happen. I fear for my own mental health.

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Things Women Shouldn't Be Shy Spending Money On | Blogtober Day 23

I think we can agree that many of us women just love shopping; especially if it's unplanned. I used to be a "shopaholic" myself until I decided to stop spending money on things I don't need and start spending it on experiences and  things that make me feel good. I believe that it's important to spoil yourself every now and again.

In my opinion; when it comes to spending a little extra, some things are definitely worth it. What are those things? Well...

A good bra (or 2)

It sucks when you're out and you're wearing the wrong bra. It makes you feel uncomfortable ad leaves you with marks on your body when you take it off. All bras are not made equal and if you want proper housing for your tatas, it's worth it to cough up a few hundred bucks. Wearing a small or or tight bra can cut off blood circulation to your breasts and that's not good!  Also please go for a fitting if you don't know the right bra size for you. If the straps are way too tight, your breasts are spilling over out of the bra at the top or under your armpits, if the back strap doesn't lie straight across your back and rides up; then you're probably wearing the wrong bra size. 

A menstrual cup

These aren't actually expensive if you think about it in the long run.  They are eco- friendly and very comfortable; in fact menstrual cups are so great you might actually stop hating your periods! (I wrote a post about them; you can read it here).Sanitary products are not cheap and are an expense that we can't avoid; whether we like it or not.

A great pair of heels (in fact shoes in general)

It's important to have good quality, comfortable heels; especially if you're going to work in them all day. Do not be afraid to spend a little to take care of those gorgeous feet ladies; They deserve it! A good pair of heels won't get worn out too quickly; even if you wear them quite often. Greta shoes make a woman feel confident; like she can take on the world. Buy yourself a great pair of heels and see what I mean...

A great handbag

When shopping for handbags; especially your every day one; it's important to get one that's strong but also looks appealing to you to carry around your everyday handbag essentials. A handbag is not typically something people buy all the time (unless they really want to) so don't be afraid of the ones that are a little pricey; they will actually last.

Facial skincare products

This one I would say is the most important of this list for me. It's important to take good care of your skin especially if you suffer from acne like me. I used to use cheaper products and wonder why my face was the way it was, I had frequent breakouts and they left ugly black marks on my face. I started seeing a dermatologist who showed me the right products to use for me according to my skin type. Do a little research here and consult a dermatologist if you need to because what works for your friend who has gorgeous skin; might not  work for you!

Good quality makeup

If you have sensitive skin like me; cheap makeup is NOT an option. I get rashes and wake up with swollen lips and eyes; it's not a good look. You need make-up that's made from quality ingredients and ingredients that are as natural as possible. Good makeup will allow your skin to breathe underneath.

Quality running shoes

One thing I can tell you though is that there's a reason why cheap things are cheap; not all of them are necessarily bad but you do get what you pay for. If you want products that will last and and deliver what they promised they would; you'll have to cough up a few extra bucks. The wrong shoes will cause pain on your feet, cause calluses, hammer toes and a whole bunch of other foot problems you do not want.

I am not telling you to break bank here and get yourself into debt - NO! I am merely making suggestions. Think of it a s a sort of...  investment in yourself... Of course there are more important things in life to spend money on but if you're gonna buy these items and can afford to splurge just a little; why not?

When shopping for anything always try to go for the trusted brands. There are some good brands for products that are reasonably priced. 

So ladies, don't be stingy with yourselves, you might regret it. You and your body deserve to be treated well; so if you can go the extra mile, buy that expensive makeup or those heels you saw at the shop that you thought were a little pricey. It's worth it in the long run. Buying something cheap and then having to constantly replace or repair it is not worth the hassle if you can avoid it.

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There IS Such a Thing as Happily Single | Blogtober Day 22

Being alone will always be better than being with the wrong person or someone who doesn't love or appreciate you. So many people have tried to tell me how I feel about being single; they've sad things to me like " you can't be single and happy; there's no such thing" ;"stop lying to yourself you're not happy being single" or " you guys broke up so long ago why haven't you moved on?". Even so called friends have said something to that effect to me.

I would like to address the last question/statement first. Moving on doesn't mean moving on to someone new; for me it means letting go of the person and believe me I have done that. I don't feel a need to "replace" them just for the sake of having someone; I am actually happy right now. I have time to really rediscover myself and what I want out of a relationship and not have a relationship define me.

"Singlehood" is not a curse; it's whatever you make of it. It has given me the opportunity to re-ignite my passion for writing and I have all the time in the world. I have been in a relationship where I ended up needing time to breathe because everything I did I did for the other person; I always out them first and my wants and needs took the back seat. I was there whenever they needed or even wanted me; I literally stopped whatever I was doing to be with them. I learnt that that isn't always good for me.

I have also been in a relationship where I felt like I wasn't enough for the person because I wasn't ready to explore the sexual part of our relationship. I used to feel pressured so much and the pressure wasn't always necessarily coming from them; I pressured myself into being what they wanted even though I knew it wouldn't be good for me but I somehow convinced myself it would all be worth it. I was sad for a long time when it ended but the moment I gave myself a chance to reflect and actually enjoy being single; I came to find I was actually happier than I'd been during the entire relationship.

Sometimes you don't realise just how much of your time is dedicated to your significant other when you're in a relationship. I'm not say that you shouldn't do so but I was over-doing it. Now that I am single I have all the time in the world to enjoy activities that I like. Maybe I was dating the wrong people but I love chilling at home and when I was in a relationship I hardly ever did that. I was always out somewhere surrounded by people constantly. In fact we hardly ever even had alone time. I also enjoy my sleep; I had an ex who got mad when I didn't answer late night calls. Late night calls are not my thing. I want to sleep; I want my "me-time" to disconnect with the world and by alone with my thoughts for a bit.

Being single has taught me the importance of putting my thoughts and feelings first; I'm not meaning being selfish; I mean that it's okay for me not to want to do certain things sometimes and that the person I am with should understand that. 

I now know exactly what I want in a relationship and I will feel ready and confident next time I am in one. I feel like being single has also taught me how to be a better lover in the sense that I now know how to acknowledge my own thoughts and feelings and I'll be able to communicate them to someone else better without fear of judgement or rejection.

You can learn something from everything and every phase in your life if you allow yourself to and being single is just one of those phases. I am not saying I'll be an expert lover after this I just think I'll be more appreciative and understanding of my significant other because I am more sure of myself. There's nothing worse than lacking self-confidence and having your mind go to the worst of places when someone doesn't answer your call or text you the whole day because you're unsure of yourself. 

I believe that it is unhealthy to completely tie your happiness to another being. You need to learn how to be happy even when you’re on your own. I have learnt that I don’t need a man to be happy in life and that whoever I choose to date should add to my happiness and not be the centre of my universe. Everything I need to be happy and successful is already within me.

There are far too many people who get into relationships just for the sake of it for whatever reason and I refuse to be one of them. I should be with someone because I want to not because I am afraid of being alone. As much as people may ridicule and laugh at me for being single for so long; I am doing me for me and I am okay with that. I am the one who will have to live with the consequences of dating someone I know isn’t right for me and I’d rather not. Someone once said to me that many people are not out there looking for love; they are looking for help.

I am single and I am happy. My happiness doesn’t come from someone else or whatever external force. It comes from me. I have decided to be happy and enjoy this phase of my life.

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26 Blog Post Ideas | Blogtober Day 20

At some stage, many if us bloggers get writer's block. Our brains freeze and we have no idea what to write about. It's happened to me plenty of times when it came to blogging or even essay writing at school or when I'm doing my varsity assignments. It freaken sucks!

I have decided to give you guys a list of ideas for your next blog post (or whatever it is you're writing). I might end up using some of these myself after I write this post. Here we go:

1. My first kiss
2. My first day at uni/varsity
3. My first break up
4. A list of your favourite movies
5. Your favourite social media platforms & why
6. How I relax after a long stressful day
7. Your fitness routine
8. Your first car
9. How to make your favourite meal
10. Your pet peeves
11. What it was like leaving home for the first time
12. How you got engaged
13. How you met your significant other
14. How to be single
15. Fun things to do in your hometown
16. The worst thing that has ever happened to you and how you got over it
17. The best thing that has ever happened to you
18. Why you love or hate your job
19. You dream job
20. What you are studying and why
21. Your dating checklist
22. Blogging tips you'd like to give fellow or new bloggers
23. Why you started blogging
24. Facts about yourself
25. Your first pet
26. Who's your role model and why

Hopefully this list will help you out next time you have writer's block. I know 26 is an odd number but that's just ow many ideas I came up with at the time I sat down to write this post; I could have left one off and made it a list of 25 but what the heck? I just decided to go for it.

Feel free to share some of your blog post ideas with me. Even if you feel a certain topic has been "overwritten"; go ahead and write about it. Every blogger has their own unique voice and there's no one in this world who can tell your story or a version of a story like you.

What I Have Learnt About Myself Through Blogging | Blogtober Day 17

Have you ever thought about becoming a blogger or a writer? If the answer is yes then I suggest you put the fear and worries aside and just get to it. Blogging is an awesome way to connect with people and grow as a person. I am enjoying my blogging experience and no 2 days are ever the same.

Like many new things, blogging can bring about feelings of uncertainty. Am I writing the right thing? Are people going to like and relate to this? Truth is; IT DOESN’T MATTER.!!!You must write about things that you enjoy writing about. If you are being genuine and authentic; people will respond and gravitate towards you.

I have also learnt a few things about myself through this experience and I'd like to share them with you today. What I have learnt through blogging is that:

1.     I am fully capable of achieving whatever I set my mind to

2.     I can actually write

3.     I have the power to touch others with my words

4.     I enjoy sharing my thoughts with others

5.     I have quite a lot to say

6.     My opinion is valid

7.     Sharing my story has the power to help and influence others in a positive manner

8.   There’s no shame in being vulnerable and sharing my personal stories and hardships in life

9.  People out there are genuinely supportive – the blogging community is the most loving I have ever come across

If you are thinking of becoming a blogger; DO IT! It is a great learning experience and can lead to both personal and professional growth. I love blogging and it has become a big part of my life.

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The Upside of my Job | Blogtober Day 15

Not everything is all doom and gloom at work like I'm sure you must think from reading why I hate my job. I've decided to write this post because I feel like it wasn't 100% fair of me to just "diss" my job and then not mention some of the positive aspects of it. You know what they say "no matter what; there is always a bright side", so that's what I'll be focusing on today.

I got my current job after being unemployed for about 3 months; I absolutely hated my previous job so I really didn't mind when it was over but when you're used to not having to ask for money for everything, life really changes. I was glad for the opportunity to have some of my own money for things and not having to ask mommy to buy me tampons.

The upside of my job:

It has allowed me the opportunity to gain some independence. I might not be completely independent yet but there are things I can do for myself on my own now. I buy my own toiletries for starters. No more running to mommy when I'm out of sanitary products and deodorant.

My job has given me the opportunity to go back to school and get a qualification. I dropped out of university, back then my parents were paying for it. It did not go well and I was depressed. I came back home and took a year off studying, during that time I got a job and tried to convince my parents I was ready to return but to no avail. They lost faith in me because off my first attempt at getting a degree which I understand but I mean I can't wait for them to want to willingly invest in me again. They kept telling me I'm not ready when I knew I was, then 1 day I realised no man, you have a job and you can actually pay for this yourself. I applied got accepted and went back to school without having to ask my parents for anything. I am now funding my studies from my own pocket and it makes me feel so proud. I can pay for my studies slowly each month. It was hard and draining being constantly reminded that I was a dropout and being asked questions like, "If you didn't manage to get your degree the first time; what makes you think you can get it now?” Now I answer only to myself! 

With the little money I have managed to join the gym. I find fitness and health is of utmost importance and should be everyone's top priority but I get it, we're not all the same.

I have also managed to get myself my own cell phone that I want from my own pocket. I don't have to ask anyone to buy me data and airtime anymore because I can get it for myself now. I even purchased myself a brand new laptop, I accidentally dropped mine when I was in varsity and no one managed to repair it so I was laptop less for a few years. I needed the laptop in order to be able to do schoolwork when I returned to my studies; I'm using that very laptop to blog right now.

The work environment itself is actually quite positive. I don't think I will ever find another job that is as chilled, my boss (the one that's stationed at the office) is approachable and intelligent. We talk about anything & everything and he understands when staff has personal problems. I am quite the "sickly" employee and I don't get shit about it when I don't have a doctor's note. We generally get along quite well as staff in the office, we have small issues here and there like any other workplace but overall I'd say we're good. When things are going well we get free lunch quite regularly. There was a point my mom kept asking me why I don't eat supper at home anymore because I was always claiming to be full. 

My job has allowed me to gain some of the necessary skills I need in my career such as interpersonal skills, communication skills and it has given me work experience. Working there has given me the opportunity to see and experience a real workplace situation. I know more or less what it takes to successfully run a company, how to work with people and how people react in certain unfavourable work situations. I have also learnt a great deal about myself in a work environment and I now know what kind of employee I am and which areas I need to improve on personally.

My boss is very understanding of the fact that I am a part time student and allows me to use company resources for my studies (as long as I don't abuse them of course). It has made managing work and studies a little easier for me so I don't always feel like I'm under immense pressure. I'm even able to go and work at the office on weekends should I need to do so.

I still need a new job though because I need the cash!

15 Most Played Songs on my Phone Right Now | Blogtober Day 14

I like listening to a variety of different genres and I always welcome new music suggestions from people. Music is life. it can set your mood for the day on the way to work or help you de -stress after a long, dreadful day. 

Music has helped me celebrate victories, kept me company through break ups and made doing chores less of a drag. it evens helps me to go the extra mile at the gym. I LOVE MUSIC.

So what am I currently listening to right now? This time let's switch it up, lets go from the bottom to the top; like a top 15 countdown. You ready?

My 15 most played songs at the moment:

15. Bump That - B2K

14. Yeah - Usher

13. 2 Reasons - Trey Songz

12. All About Me - Syd

11. Eyes Closed - Halsey

10. Let Me Love You - DJ Snake & Justin Bieber

9. Anginamngani - DJ Sandiso

8. Rude Boy - Rihanna

7. Cake by the Ocean - DNCE

6. Hurts So Good - Astrid S

5. Ciao Adios - Anne - Marie

4. All Me - Lyrica Anderson & Chris Brown

3. Gold Slugs - DJ Khaled

2. Party - Chris Brown

1. Love More - Chris Brown

I love playing number 1 to wake me up when I'm tired as hell and I need a bit of an energy boost. It only works when it's real loud so I can really get into it.

MUSIC IS LIFE!

Things that Irk Me | Blogtober Day 13

I don't know why I decided to do this on but it has been decided, I'm going ahead with it. We all have things that irk us so I will be sharing mine with you in this post.

The things that irk me:

• the term "swag"
• grown men who sag their pants; c'mon dude, pull your pants up, we do not want to see your colourful boxers
• people who honk at and swear at learner drivers - you were once learning how to drive too, stop being an asshole
• people who chew with their mouths open
• gum smacking
• when people don't bother to cover their mouths when they cough
• people who have zero respect for personal space - you do not need to breathe down my neck in the queue, no one will push in, I promise
• People randomly touching my hair - ever since I cut it short people think that it's okay to touch my head whenever they want to, even random strangers in the parking lot. What in the hell???
• People using the word nice to describe how I look; really? Of all the adjectives under the sun?
• Random ass grabs from men I don’t know when I’m out
• Picking teeth in public and making that sucking sound while doing it
• men who try to get with me then call me ugly for rejecting their advances
• Socks & sandals in public… why???
• Slurping drinks in public

We all have things that irk us, maybe I’m a bit much but  I try to ignore mine as much as possible because it's not that deep, except the hair touching one; DO NOT TOUCH MY HAIR!

Fitness: For Those Who Hate Exercise & Gym | Blogtober Day 11

We don't all enjoy breaking a sweat like I do I know but being active is part of a healthy lifestyle. There are plenty of alternatives to gym that you can try it if you're not a fitness fanatic and they are just as effective and healthy.

With health problems such as obesity and diabetes; it's become increasingly important for us to lead healthy lifestyles. Our busy work schedules have also made it increasingly difficult to balance fitness activities and work but somehow we need to find a way to find a balance.

Being physically active is just as important as eating healthy and following a well-balanced diet.

So what can you do if you don't like gym? Try...

1. Walking
2. Riding your bike around your neighbourhood
3. Skipping (my netball coach in high school suggested 200 skips a day are enough to keep you in shape)
4. Swimming
5. Yoga
6. Get a Wii Fit; it's a gaming console but it's designed to keep you fit while having fun.
7. Go climbing (rock climbing, mountain climbing; whatever floats your boat)
8. Take dance classes

Fitness comes with many added benefits besides weight management. It's a great stress reliever (well keeping fit is a stress reliever), you enjoy better quality sleep and increases energy levels. Just try doing any of these activities for 1 month then you'll see the difference.

I'm sure there are more activities you can think of that you can add to my list. The point is that not liking the gym is not an excuse not to look after your body. Find something that will get you off your butt and get that heart pumping so you can break a sweat. You need to stay in shape!

If you don't want to go it alone; get your family and kids involved and turn fitness into a bonding activity for the whole family.

If, like me, you enjoy listening to music while you train or work out; check out my workout playlist.

10 Things I Can't Live Without | Blotober Day 9

We all have our favourite things in life; things that we just cannot live without, or should I say things we would rather not live without because it’s not necessarily a life or death situation. Well I suppose we actually could but then life would really suck! So I thought I could share some of mine with you.

1. My sister - who else would laugh at all the weird things in life with me?
2. Oats or as some of you might call it, oatmeal; this is one of my absolute favourites. I could eat oats all day, any day whether it’s plain oats or with berries to make them extra delicious.
3. Coffee
4. Zambuk (lip balm) – well it’s not just lip balm, it can be used for a variety of things. My lips seem to be allergic to just about anything else and swell up to double their size. I have full lips already, naturally so heaven knows the last thing I need is more lip hahah...
5. My cellphone & Wi-Fi – this one may seem like a bit of a cheat because I listed 2 items in the place of one but they go hand in hand. Buying data is just too damn expensive so I rely on WiFi most of the time.
6. Lemon tea
7. The internet
8. Pharmaceuticals - I tend to be quite the sickly woman and I cannot even begin to imagine how I would cope without pharmaceutical medication. Medicine has made my life so much more bearable.
9. Exercise/gym - Health and fitness are at the top of my priority list and gym is a great way to de-stress when life throws you curveballs.
10. Junk food!!! This one is last but definitely not least. I absolutely love all the things that are actually bad for me but I believe that everything in life should be done in moderation. Candy, cookies, chocolate you name it, if it’s junk then I’m all over it.

Not what you were expecting huh? Those are the 10 things that  I can’t live without, so what are yours?

My Gym/Workout Playlist | Blogtober Day 8

I can't for the life of me gym or run on a treadmill without my headphones in. Even though there's already music playing in the background at gym, I can't even tell you what kind because I never pay attention to it; I prefer to listen to my own. You know... to "set the tone" for my gym session.

I’m a Virgin Active member and I'm usually at the gym for an hour to 2 hours per session and I’m there every Monday to Thursday. Friday is my rest day and on the weekends I'm supposed to be doing home workouts even though I have yet to get to them. I don't know why I seem to lose motivation when I'm at home, too many distractions I guess.

Some of these songs are more up tempo than others; it really depends on which section or machine I’m using at the gym which songs I’m listening. I only have the one playlist at the moment so I skip through the songs that I feel are killing my vibe.

So here’s a peek at my workout playlist:

• Ride – Ciara
• Paris(workout mix) – The Chainsmokers
• All in my head (workout mix) – 5th harmony
• Gangnam Style - Psy
• So good – Zara Larsson
• Burnin up – Jessie J
• Bon Appetit – Katy Perry
• Breathing – Jason Derulo
• Anyway – Chris Brown
• Bump That – B2K
• Bitches & Marijuana – Chris Brown
• Who Dat – J Cole
• Feelin’ Myself – Will.I.Am featuring Miley Cyrus

So that’s the gist of it, I won’t give you the entire playlist because it’s freaken long. So if you’re looking for that extra motivation while you’re breaking a sweat, you can give some of these a try.

Money! Money! Money! If a Had a Million Bucks | Blogtober Day 7

Everyone who knows me knows how much I LOVE money; even though I never have any. I’m broke b#!  . I would love to see that many zeros in my bank balance; it would drive me wild. Don’t worry I wouldn’t waste the money though. I already have a list of what I’m going to do with money even though I don’t have it. So what would I do with a million dollars you ask?  Well…

Firstly I would invest say... a quarter of it so I can get more money. Then I would calculate how much it would cost me to finish my degree and pay that amount to the university; in one go. Then I'd get myself a tutor for all the subjects I struggle with; especially maths. I am terrible at maths. I'd finish my degree a whole lot faster if I never repeated anything.I would also stop working for a short while and concentrate solely on my studies then I'd be able to do more subjects per semester and obtain my qualification in a shorter time frame.

Hmmm let’s see what’s next… oh I’d fix everything in the house that’s broken or old, some of these items include the back door, my mom’s toilet and leaking bathroom ceiling. I’d get rid of our dogs because they are only there for security purposes not because they are loved (I’m not a pet person) and add security beams to cover the back yard. 

I’d travel the world too of course. I’ve always wanted to do that. I love exploring new places. I’d go to Dubai, London, Mauritius and knock off a few other places on my bucket list if my balance still allows it.

I would probably get myself a new wardrobe too... how exciting that would be. I absolutely LOVE clothes and shopping. I would give the clothes I don't want anymore to a family member who wants or needs them more than I do or I'd donate them to charity. Of course I would need a few pairs of shoes to match my new outfits... what's an outfit without the perfect pair of shoes?

I would definitely make the tenant move out; he’s BEEN annoying me. (My mom let him farm chickens in the back yard; a story for another day). Then I'd turn a portion of the backyard into an entertainment area; maybe even get a pool table.

I can’t forget my sister in all this. I’d give her a couple hundred thousand to spend as she wishes. I’d do the same with my dad.

Everyone knows that when you get a large sum of cash, you need to make your money make even more money. I mean; I can't just spend and invest it all. I would need to start some sort of a business; probably an employment agency because I am passionate about helping people to find jobs that will help them sustain themselves (I'm actually one of those people right now – (read about my job hunting here). I know what it's like not to be employed or to have a job that isn't quite getting you where you need or want to be.

So yeah... that's what I would do with my million. 

My Typical Saturday | Blogtober Day 6

Clubs, booze boys... typical weekend vibe for most, well not me...

I always look forward to the weekends because it's my time to relax and unwind. I pray I never have to work on Saturdays.

I wake up in the morning and open the windows and curtains wide to let all that fresh morning air fill the room, splash my face with water then it's off to the kitchen for a steaming, hot cup of coffee...then I can start my day.

I usually start off with laundry; I do laundry every Saturday morning; unless it's raining of course. I like to listen to music while I'm doing laundry and I play it really loud. Then from around 8 to 12 I'm doing house chores. This includes cleaning the kitchen, bathroom and my room.

I like sleeping in fresh bedding and a lot of people find it weird but I change my sheets every Saturday even though I'm the only person who sleeps in my bed. It's just ingrained in me to do this and it feels weird for me not to. I get annoyed when my mom does my laundry for me (weird I know; you're probably thinking "are you nuts? I'd love to have someone do that for me!" But yeah, I prefer to do my laundry myself, (1) because I'm an adult, (2) I enjoy it and (3) I find it calming and therapeutic. It's the one house chore I do not mind, probably because my laundry is machine-washed.

While my laundry is in the machine; I move on to cleaning the toilet, bathroom and kitchen. In between all this I keep reloading the machine and hanging the laundry out to so then resuming cleaning whatever section I was busy with. All this is happening while there's music blaring in the background. I'm sure my neighbours find me annoying but they've never said anything...

If I still feel energetic enough then I wash my baby, no not an actual baby, I'm referring to my car. I prefer to wash it myself than take it to a car because I believe that's a waste of money. The car is small - I can do it myself; besides any physical activity is good.

I dedicate my Saturday afternoons for doing assignments because I'm usually so tired after work during the week, so Saturdays are the perfect time to catch up. The great thing is that I can spend hours doing schoolwork and I don't feel the time go by at all. My mind is more open and relaxed on Saturdays for some reason and that's why I choose Saturday afternoons for school work. Maybe if I had done this in high school I could have reached my full academic potential (laughs a little).

After all of that, I cosy up on the sofa with a nice cup of wine or coffee and binge watch series and movies. I don’t do a lot of TV watching during the week because I get home pretty late and I’m almost always tired. So Saturdays are when I catch up. I’m usually watching Netflix or I see what DSTV has to offer when I want to watch something a little different. I absolutely love movies and in case you’re wondering; 90% of the time I do all this alone. I pretty much do the same thing when my sister is in town the only difference is that I have someone to share the couch with hahaha…

This is my Saturday routine, pretty boring most of the time huh? It doesn't change much unless it payday, my mom wants me to go to town with her or it's the odd occasion when my friends show up with booze, in which case I'll do a little toiletry shopping and maybe purchase a new clothing item or 2... And maybe some drinking.

50 Random Facts About Me | Blogtober Day 5

Hey guys!!! 

So I decided that today I'd share 50 random facts about myself with you so you can get to know me just a little.

1. I love Nandos chicken
2. My favourite colours are blue and red
3. I started dating when I was 18
4. I have a younger sister
5. I'm a chocoholic
6. I love going to the gym
7. I got my navel pierced when I was 13
8. I love music
9. I love dancing
10. I have scalp eczema
11. I'm a fitness fanatic
12. I love short hair so I keep my hair short
13. I love horror movies even though sometimes they make it hard to sleep when I'm alone at night
14. My favourite person in this world is my sister
15. I lost my virginity 3 days before my 19th birthday
16. I am single at the moment and have been for 4 years
17. I once dropped out of university
18. I'm addicted to coffee
19. I'm a part time student
20. I used to weigh 19 kg in grade 2; I was the smallest in my class
21. I can dance.... as long as it's not choreographed
22. I'm 1,52m tall
23. I'm an open-minded person
24. I LOVE red lipstick
25. I have 2 tattoos

As I sit here typing this list, my colleague is having a serious conversation with my boss about our current work situation (read about it here), oh what a life I live… Anyways let's proceed….

26. I like trying new things and experimenting
27. I love lemon tea
28. I'm not the best cook
29. My favourite features are my lips, eyes and legs
30. I didn't like make-up until I was about 25
31. I don't like cooking
32. I'm not a fan of Facebook
33. I love watching movies
34. I like playing scrabble and 30 seconds
35. I enjoy reading 
36. I have had 3 boyfriends in my life (not at the same time hahaha)
37. I'm a loner and I'm okay with it
38. I get along better with people about 10 years older than me
39. My closest friends are men
40. I don't drink cow's milk
41. I love the beach
42. I was in an incubator for like the first few weeks of my life and I don't have those baby photos from when I was fresh out the womb because my mom didn't think I'd make it. Here I am 27 years later!!!
43. My drink of choice is gin and juice
44. I have dyed my hair red before, I loved it and I'd do it again
45. I also like wine
46. I do not like homophobes
47. My longest relationship lasted 2 & a half years
48. I prefer my own short, natural hair (the closer shaven the better!)
49. I do not like swimming
50. I come from a family of 4 (immediate family that is) 

So that's me! Wow, 50 facts, I actually thought I was going to run out of ideas as to what to tell you guys about me but I did it! Now you’ve gotten to know me a little better and I’m no longer just a random chick behind a screen (laughs) … I still am aren’t I? I must say though, Blogtober is making me dig real deep.

My must - have Phone Apps | Blogtober Day 4

I have quite a few apps on my phone that make life a little easier for me.

Clap to find

I am always misplacing my phone. Whether it falls in the gap in the sofa or it somehow ended up in my pillowcase, this app has changed my life. I spend way less time looking for my phone now because all I have to do is clap and it rings loudly wherever it is, even if it's on silent.

Flo (period tracker)

I used to struggle to track my period and it would catch me by surprise which can be a huge inconvenience. The more information you enter the more accurate the predictions become and now I'm always prepared. I also use Flo to track my daily water intake and remind myself to drink water because I don't drink enough water. 

Banking apps

I use 2 different banks; ABSA and Standard Bank, so I have both banking apps on my phone. They make it easy for me to pay bills and purchase data anytime. The apps are very user friendly an a convenient way to make transactions wherever you are.

Blogger

For obvious reasons but if it isn't all that obvious to you having the app on my phone makes it easy for me to blog on the go. Sometimes inspiration hits at the most random times, now I can just write down my drafts for my posts wherever I am and never forget a thing.

Mr D Food

I love takeaways and driving to pick them up is a drag for me. Now I can get all the food I want delivered straight to my couch at the touch of a button. It even tells you which options are the fastest so I can pick the most convenient option for me.

Study Tracker

This is is a must have for me because I always think I'm doing more than I actually am. now I can set study goals for myself and stick to them to make sure that I've covered all the work before exams.

WhatsApp

This app has saved me a great deal of money on airtime and data costs. It's great for me because even though I'm always broke, I can still communicate with everyone.  Most of the people I'm in constant communication with are also using this app; I can voice call my sister who's in another city for no extra cost to me at all.

Virgin Active App

Must have gym app to book classes and check schedules on the go. I also use it to track my goal progress and it helps me push myself even harder at the gym. I find this app very motivating because it frustrates me when I see a low percentage on the progress bar and I want to do better!

Apple Music

I love this app because I can access all the latest as well as favourite music from my phone at any time. You don't even need to reload everything when you change devices, all you have to do is log in from your new device and all of your music is available to you to download instead of having to search for the songs all over again. it even suggests music that you might like based on what you've been listening to on your device.

Load Shedding

This app is useful for South Africans during load shedding so that you don't get caught in the dark. It lets you know when load shedding will start and begin in each zone ahead of time; that way you can plan your activities around those times if you can.

Scrabble

I like playing games that make me think. If I'm stuck in a long queue or I want to take a break from work at the office, this is a great game to get your mind to focus on something else. It's a great way to better your spelling and build your vocabulary.

These are the apps that I have on my phone. 

18 Uses for Coconut Oil | Blogtober Day 2

I'm sure you've heard of the many benefits and uses of coconut oil. It's a great all-in-one item to have in your home. It really comes in handy. Now I'm no expert, just your average woman who has learnt through a process of trial and error and I have personally seen positive results from experimenting with coconut oil.

Coconut oil is a natural product extracted from the kernel of coconuts and is completely edible. According to the Harvard Health Centre; coconut oil gives good cholesterol a boost. Coconut oil has gained so much popularity over the years. I've even seen women pull it out of their gym bags at the gym even! If you haven't jumped onto this coconut oil bandwagon then maybe it's time you did.

Let's get down to it. 18 uses for coconut oil:

1.       Moisturiser for your skin

2.       You can rub it on your vagina to clear infections from ingrown hair etc.

3.       Use it for cooking and baking

4.       Use it as a moisturiser for your hair

5.       Ingestion increases metabolism 

6.       Improve your oral hygiene as it fights bacteria

7.       Remove makeup

8.       Remedy for lice

9.       Massage oil

10.   Lip balm

11.   Use it as shaving cream

12.   Clear stretch marks - I can see a difference

13.   Flavour enhancement while cooking

14.   Treatment for eczema

15.   Moisturize a dry scalp 

16.   Prevent dandruff

17.   Boosts hair growth ( I rubbed it on my thinning eyebrows so I can attest to this)

18. Aids digestion

So if you haven’t given coconut oil a try, I suggest you do so that way you can see the benefits for yourself. If you know of any other benefits derived from this wonderful gift from nature, please feel free to let me know.