Getting "kicked out" of varsity
is a huge blow. It can make you feel like a failure or a loser or even stupid
but that is not the case. Life is full of ups and downs and this is just one of
the downs. It's not the end of the world.
I think it's especially tough on us black
people because our families are not very understanding at times. They don't
always understand the pressures we go through in life and at varsity and to the
older generation life is supposed to be a straight line: you matriculate, go to
university, get a degree and that's that. It's not easy for them to understand
when you deviate from the "norm" or when you don't come back home
with a degree so it can get really tough for you when you drop out.
Look at it this way, you now have the
opportunity to re-examine yourself and your life and do a deep introspection.
Find out why things did not work out so well from you then make a plan from
there. Explore your options. You do not have to go back to varsity right away.
Take the time to explore new hobbies and maybe do some short courses, you might
just find your passion.
When it happened to me I was relieved, to
be honest I was looking for a way out and this was it. I remember initially
feeling like I was kicked in the gut when I opened the letter and read the
words "academically excluded". Sure it felt crappy the fact that the
school had decided I shouldn't go back but nonetheless it was an answer to my
prayers. .Unfortunately for me I had to deal with the backlash for a while. My
mom actually said she knew I wasn't going to cut it, didn't even take the time
to ask me about it before forming an opinion. Anyways, it was whatever, it's my
life anyways and I'm the one who has to actually make a plan as to where to
from here.
I decided right off the bat that I was
going to find a job. I was not even the least bit interested in pleading my
case with an appeal. I was done.
The reason I am telling you that it's not
the end of the world to be academically excluded is that if you try to do your
best and it just doesn't cut it, there are other avenues to explore. Personally
I was very unsure of everything I was doing at varsity the first time around
and I didn't see the bigger picture at all. I was just dragging myself to class
everyday depressed as hell.
To be honest back then I was very closed
minded. I was brought up with the mentality that you go to high school,
matriculate then go to university to get the degree of your choice; simple as
that. Life isn't that black and white, there is a lot of grey. I'm at UNISA now
studying through correspondence and working full time and I'm doing even better
than I was as a full time student. In the 3 years I was at university, I never
even managed to complete my first year successfully, I got to second dragging
some first year modules only to fail again at second level. Now I managed to
get a distinction during my first year doing more or less the same modules. By
the way I am paying for my own education now because I get tired of trying to
convince my dad I want to go back to school; I understand why he was so
reluctant though because I made such a mess of it the first time.
Sometimes in life you just need to take a
breather and regroup so you can get your head screwed on right and then attempt
whatever it is you "failed" at again with a whole new attitude and
perspective. With regards to the whole point of this post, academic exclusion
is not the end of the world. It's a second chance, an opportunity to do things
right and to find an alternative that works better than your first attempt.
Maybe I was not mature enough the first time around but I was better mentally
prepared this time.
I see many kids these days are depressed
because they fail matric and some even attempt suicide. I feel like I can
relate a bit because I experienced the effects of poor academic performance at
university. It felt like no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't cut it. I
was always close but not close enough. I would fail subjects but just 2%
sometimes and cry myself to sleep at night. It was exhausting because it felt
like all of my efforts were nothing but a waste. They got me nowhere.
I feel that sometimes in life we fail at
things to teach us something. It's not that you are incapable just that maybe
your approach is wrong. Maybe you just need to revisit how you go about
your studies. Your study method might not be the right one for you. Just
because you didn't succeed with your studies the first time around it does not
mean that you should give up. You can try again in a different environment or
alternatively you can explore other academic avenues such as short courses or
turn your hobby into a money making business.
Not all of us are meant to go to varsity
and get degrees and there's nothing wrong with that. I was programmed to
believe that that is how life is supposed to be yet there are people who are
successful at what they do that have never even set foot in a college or that
are university dropouts. You just need to figure out what your path is.
Since my first experience at varsity I
have tried to adapt new study methods such as breaking my material for the day
into 40 minute sessions with breaks in between and watching YouTube videos
related to the study material. I spent time reading up on how to improve my
academic performance. I have developed a study timetable for myself and I study
at work when I can. I even spend time on assignments on weekends and stopped
leaving things to the last minute. I always try to make sure I complete my
assignments a week in advance if I can so that I have more than enough time to
review and revise if necessary.
To this day I am still reminded about how
I spent 3 years at varsity only to come back with nothing but I have learnt not
to let it get to me. I have dealt with it personally so it doesn't really
matter to me what other people say or think about it because it's in my past.
The most important thing is that I haven't given up.
