Friday 21 September 2018

Why I became "1 of the Boys"


Growing up I wasn't a confident kid. I was that child who sat quietly at the corner at a party; just waiting to go home. My mom used to force me to socialise with other kids because I would never willingly do it myself.

I was extremely self-conscious from childhood right into my late teens. My friends kind of understood this about me but at the same time they were always trying to change me; which I absolutely loathed. I remember in high school they convinced themselves I had a crush on this boy (I really didn't) and they were constantly trying to hook me up with him even though I wasn't even the least bit interested. To them I was a "late bloomer" because they were all dating by the time we were 16 and I only ever saw guys as friends. My friends never understood that.


In class the girls would always snicker and laugh at me behind my back because I was different. I looked different, acted different and even spoke different. I was not like them and it didn't bother me but for them I guess it was a bit of an issue. I was teased about the way I walk, where my parents are from and a whole bunch of other stupid things that really shouldn't even matter.  My friends would try to "fix me up" even when a boy they thought I like came along.

Anyways it got to a point where I was tired of constantly being "prepped" and fussed over to go and talk to boys. I mean they would literally start fixing my hair from nowhere and I would get extremely annoyed. I was told things like "you know you'd be so pretty if you would just..." and I wasn't having it. So I just started hanging out with the boys. I accepted them for who they were so why didn't they just do the same for me. You know... sometimes people think they are doing you a favour but constant criticism about things you don't find particularly important drives me absolutely nuts! I don't put up with that at all now.


I may have convinced myself at some point that the boys wouldn't notice me and compare me to the other girls if I was one of them.

Even now in my 20's, when I was with my female "friends" they were constantly asking me why I'm single and telling me I should be dating because they were all in relationships. I was fine with my singleness but was constantly being told things like "there's no such thing as single and happy", "You need a man" or "maybe if you had a man you wouldn't be so uptight”; seriously, what in the hell??? My male friends which are my first choice when it comes to hanging out on the weekends are a chilled bunch. We have our fun and sometimes get wild. They talk about their girlfriends if they want to and they don't criticize or make me feel weird about being single. From high school I liked hanging out with the boys because they weren't bothered by how I walk or how I did my hair. They pretty much just took me as I was which was pretty freaken awesome. I just fit right in...


I guess I don't find it easy to befriend other females because I get a little self-conscious when I'm surrounded by too many women. I don't dress like the average 20 something year old; even my own mom doesn't understand my look and think I should be dressing differently. I like short hair, I'm not into weaves, and I like sneakers more than heels even though I have started wearing heels more often now. 


Anyways I think that your friendship group, whether you're a teenager or a young adult, should be supportive of who you are and where you are in life; regardless of whether they are males or females. Don't get me wrong, women are amazing but right now, at this point in life, I have yet to meet a group of ladies that I felt I could completely be myself around and I don't really even try anymore.

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19 comments:

  1. great post! I didn't have a real boyfriend until I was 18. As a teen I really didn't care to have boyfriends, especially if I went to school with them! There's nothing wrong with not being interested in romantic relationships. You don't have to if you don't want to and I'd be upset too if people kept pushing me to do something I didn't want to do.

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  2. When I was younger I used to find other girls intimidating, we were always into different things. I blame being really close in age to my brother, for being more comfortable with boys, but I still turned into a very girly girl.
    It's so important to remember that everyone is different, have different definitions of happiness.


    A Sparkle Of Grace

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  3. Reminds me of high school. At some point I just because a loner because it was easier than putting up with all that.

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  4. I guess in some ways being one of the boys is a bit easier. I found girls in my school a bit vain and they used to obsess about the most insignificant of things. I wanted to be away from the gossip basically :)

    Thanks for your interesting story.

    Laura / https://laustworld.blogspot.com/

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  5. Great post ! Just "Be yourself" & "love yourself first". These are very important basics. Real beauty is in heart, mind and soul. It doesn't matter how you look & it matters who you are at your heart. The right ones will always support you. Go girl !👍 XOXO Thanks for sharing! 😊

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    1. Thanks so much for the positive feedback. I'm glad you liked it :)

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  6. Great post. I'm continually learning!

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  7. I always had more male friends as I felt girls were so judgemental and fixated on things like looks which werent as important to me. People's soul mean more than appearance.
    Nancy|http://myeverydaychallenges.com

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    1. That's right. People like so concentrate on the wrong things when what's on the inside is what really matter. To add to what you said about people's soul being more important; a person can be gorgeous as hell on the outside but be the complete opposite on the inside. We need more ladies that think like you in this world!

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  8. absolutely right. girls can be real mean sometimes. hope u have a good group of girlfriends now.

    Joy at https://www.thejoyousliving.com

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    1. Actually I do not, my sister is pretty much the only female I actually hang out with and enjoy it but my closest friends are men; I'm cool with it though. I would literally rather be alone than with people I don't fully enjoy being with. I don't force things.

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  9. I definitely understand where you are coming from. I still hang out with my group of guy friends from high school and even started a family with my best guy friend of 15 years! Do you and forget the rest!

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  10. I wish I still had all of my guy friends, but unfortunately, we've all done in seperate directions in life. College, marriage, children, the works. Honestly, I find myself being more of a loner nowadays, but I'm so focused on getting my own life on track that I'm okay with that! Thank you for sharing your confidence with those who need the boost!!

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  11. Can totally relate xx my best friends were always boys and I always felt so much more comfortable around them! and as for those people telling you that you cant be single and happy, dont listen to them ever! You deserve to be happy in your own company and some people cant understand that

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