Why it's Important for Women to Learn to be Independent & Love Themselves

I am in my late twenties, single and I've never been married. My last serious relationship was when I was about 22 and I haven't had much luck since then, sure I've fallen in love but it has yet to work out and as a result I know how to be alone and I'm okay with it. For a long time I didn't love myself because I measured my worth by how someone else loved me. I'm glad to say I am wiser and stronger and this is no longer the case.

There are women who have been with their first loves since they were in high school and are now in late adulthood and are single for the first time in their lives and don't have a clue who they are or how to function without their significant other because their whole sense of being was tied to this other person for so long. There are also women who have been in relationship after relationship and don't know how to be alone and have zero independence, so just about any man will do and think they have convinced themselves that they do not want or need love, sis who are you fooling? I think this is so sad. Don't get me wrong, I do believe that some loves do last a lifetime but I'm perfectly aware that sometimes things just end.

The reason I decided to write about my views on this is that my parents split a few years ago and my mom has become an alcoholic. I find it very heart-breaking that she has lost her sense of self and has now become someone I don't necessarily want in my life anymore because her behavior sometimes depicts that of people I would never associate with by choice. I know that breakups are hard so I can't even begin to imagine what it's like when a marriage falls apart. I'm not familiar with what divorcees go through but I have seen and heard of many women who get divorced and end up actually finding themselves as a result.

A lot of young women have also fallen into this "blesser" trend. For those of you who don't know “blesser" is the modern day term for "sugar daddy". Instead of working hard on themselves and becoming the strong successful women they are capable of being, they rather date older men just for the perks their money brings. Don't get me wrong, I am not against people dating older guys or whatever, it's more the intention I'm worried about. I have heard stories of grown men dating high school kids and leaving their wives at home to fight with the girl once they find out that they have a boyfriend in their age group. What in the hell? It scares me how these days some high school girls prefer these older even married men because they give them money and things that the average boy their age can't provide. 

Another thing of concern that inspired this post is the alarming rate of teenage pregnancy. Actually, many young girls younger than 13 are getting pregnant and the numbers just seem to be rising. I really wish young women would start to value abstinence again and wait until they are older to engage in sexual activity especially since they don't seem responsible enough to take precautions. Why are these girls not scared? Some time ago I came across a video of teenagers actually having sex in class while the teacher was giving a lesson as if it was totally normal. Ladies... where is the self-respect? Where is the self-love? I mean these kids are now having sex with their teachers and in class during lessons like it's no big deal. What in the hell??? Guys, there's so much more to life than sex and men.

As young women we need to be strong and educate ourselves so that we may live the lives we have dreamt about since we were kids. It's possible, many before us have achieved great success and so can we. We also need to learn to love, support and encourage each other. The last thing you want is to wake up in your 50's and wonder what the hell you've been doing with your life. Everything we need to become all that we can be is already within us; we just need to figure out how to bring it out. I myself am still trying to figure that part out. It took me a while to learn how to love and accept myself who the woman I am and to believe that I was good enough. 

I hope I am never one of those women who lose themselves to a point of seeming pitiful because a man no longer wants me anymore. I know it hurts ladies but we can do better than that. Why do we want people who don't value us or want us anymore so badly that we hurt ourselves in the process? Why can't we love ourselves the way we so badly want to be loved by our significant others or these men to love us?

It's important for us to realize our value as women and treat ourselves and each other like the queens we are. May we be strong independent woman and may we raise them!