Friday 26 October 2018

What it's Like Living at Home in my 20's - The Downside

Initially, I was going to write one long post about the pros and cons of living at home in your 20s but I’ve decided to break it up into 2 posts. Living at home can be great but it can also suck. When you’re in your twenties; you have your own ideas about what a home should be like and how things should be done and when those views and opinions clash with the actual homeowner; it can lead to some unwanted tension.

My sister who’s in her early twenties moved out last year to go off to varsity and since I am doing distance learning to get my degree; I live at home because I can’t afford to move out. Living at home is nice but sometimes I feel like I am suffocating; I don’t really have a place to call my own except for my bedroom but my mom has access to that too.

My mom and I have different opinions about when and how certain things should be done. For example, when it comes to washing dishes my mom flips if there are dirty plates in the sink but I see it as a waste of water to keep washing plates every time someone eats and we don’t have a dishwasher. I was planning on getting one this year but due to financial issues; I can forget it. I also hate cleaning up after grown people; there are no kids in this house yet things like milk don’t get put back into the fridge (god knows why) and if I don’t put it back for whatever reason I get shit for it. I am a neat person generally; I clean up after myself so it really bugs me that other people can’t do the same. It makes me miss living alone.

I also can’t have a guest over for the night; not that I am seeing anyone at the moment but I don’t even have that option. You can’t get busy in ya mommas house; it’s just a no-no, gotta do it elsewhere. I am never even home alone; not even like for me to chill by myself and do my own things, my mom is a homebody just like me.  I have at times resorted to getting laid in my car which as you can imagine, is not ideal. I drive a Kia, my baby is tiny! Not to mention the risk of getting arrested should I get caught. What would I even tell my rents I was doing? Getting nasty in my back seat?! I think not. I also miss being alone sometimes; it was pure bliss.

The other thing that bugs me is that I have no say in the kinds of people I have around me at times and locking myself in my room is not enough. There are some people I would never have anywhere near me if I had the choice, because of who they are, that I tolerate because well; it’s not my house so they come and hang out here when they want. My mom is not the type of person to tell or ask anyone who’s rude or unfriendly to leave; she accommodates EVERYONE and sometimes I feel it’s at my expense. My aunt’s “boyfriend” is one of them. That man is one of the rudest people I have ever met. He comes over and tells us that we are making the noise and switches TVs off or reduces the volume like he owns the place and my mom just lets him. He is just not a pleasant person to be around; my sister and I literally get up and leave the room when he enters the house because we just can’t deal. I have asked the man to leave on more than one occasion and he just keeps coming back. Like I said, it’s not my house so I don’t have a say. I can huff and puff all I want and characters like him will keep coming back because they can. It’s not my house…

Sometimes I tell myself I want to study all weekend then out of nowhere there are people over and it’s a party when I am supposed to be studying. I just have to deal with it because I don’t really have a choice and I don’t often have enough petrol to leave and go and study elsewhere. It does affect my studies to an extent but I try my best to get good grades regardless. Then there are gatherings on Sunday's when I am on study leave and guess who has to clean up the party mess on Monday morning when she's supposed to be studying... Me! Guys, am I being a spoilt brat or am I being unreasonable? Are some of you out there going through the same thing? Is it not as bad as I am making it out to be?

If I had my shit together then I could leave but unfortunately at this point in time; that is not the case. I AM STRUGGLING!!! Emotionally, financially; I am a mess. Until I can get myself a better job; I have no choice but to live at home and it’s proving to be a difficult task. Sometimes I can literally feel myself boiling inside. I know that there’s a saying that goes something like,” if you don’t like something; change it and if you can’t change it, change your attitude” believe me I have tried adjusting my attitude, I am trying every day. I am a sensitive person by nature and many things affect me emotionally even when I know they shouldn’t.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to have a roof over my head but sometimes the price I have to pay just sucks.

Keep a lookout for the flipside of this post coming soon...

https://weirdnliberated.wixsite.com/weirdnliberated



5 comments:

  1. Dude, I feel your pain in this post! Rents are exorbitant these days and a lot of people in their 20s are living at home either to save up to buy or just until they can afford to rent so you aren't alone! I know that doesn't make the stresses of living with family any easier but many others have done it and gotten out, you will too! I think everything you're feeling is really normal. You're an adult, you've got your own way of doing things and parents sometimes struggle to adapt to giving their child independence or respecting them as equals - it's a hard balance to get right. I hope it gets better for you soon.

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    1. Thanks Maria; it really helps me to de-stress when I write/talk about these things, it's like the weight lifts off my shoulders for a bit. I know things will get better and this is not a permanent situation, I am hanging in there :)

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  2. I understand how you feel! I lived at home with my parents until I was 23 and sometimes it was annoying and there was things that I wouldn't like and vice versa. But I managed to save so much living at home, I only had to pay a small rent so that way I saved up enough money to move out. It can be difficult, but I'm sure you'll have your own place soon!

    Chloe x
    www.chloechats.com

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  3. I can relate to a lot of what you’ve said in this even though I don’t live at home anymore, I can’t think of anything worse than living with parents at my age of 28 x

    My new post is here ��
    https://butterfliesandboundaries.wordpress.com/2018/10/28/review-marks-spencer-10-meal-deal/

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  4. I think you reach a point in your life where you need your own place and your own space! But try not to worry for now, some people still live at home in their 30s!

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