When will Women Be Safe?

This really is a man’s world, no kidding. As women we have to constantly keep our guards up. We cannot completely relax anywhere, not even in our homes. Women abuse and sexual violence are topics you hear about more often than not. It's become part of our lives as South Africans. If you go onto Google right now or the news you are bound to find a story or 2. I recently opened twitter to learn that someone I knew from varsity has been accused of rape!

I have personally had instances where I wished I had pepper spray or something to protect myself because I did not feel safe. Men might take this as a dig at them but I do believe that they are the ones who don't make the world a safe place. Most of the time perpetrators are men. I have personally never been robbed or attacked by a woman. It's always men. As women we can't even take a walk down the street and feel safe. I have been followed home countless times and I've been sexually harassed while jogging.

Every day somewhere out there, there are women being raped, murdered and abused – sexually, physically and emotionally to the point where they lose their self- worth. This is even happening to young women at varsity both on and off campus. Parents send their daughters off to school to get an education at what is supposed to be a safe space for them to learn and find themselves and even there women are not safe. There are incidents of rape and assault on campus grounds and residences but sadly they are not always reported. The people who suffer the most are always the victims because for the perpetrators there are often little to no repercussions.

Young girls are abused before they aren’t even old enough to understand what is happening to them and this has adverse effects on their development. A lot of sexual abuse victims experience depression and are too afraid to even report it for fear of being ridiculed or labelled and sometimes even blame themselves for what happened to them even though it’s not their fault.

I have come to realize that a lot of African men either do not understand what sexual harassment is or they just do not care. In the news and on the internet or even through the grapevine you hear of stories of little girls, even babies being raped or molested by the men in their mother's life and some even by their own fathers. It's so sickening and they can't even defend themselves because they are too young and helpless to even know what it being done to them.

The worst thing about all of this is the scary statistics on the number of rapists that actually get convicted. So many men get away with rape and it is unacceptable. Even the way police treat women who try to report incidents of sexual assault are ridiculed and asked stupid questions like “what were you wearing?” as if your choice in clothing gives anyone the right to do anything to you. It’s sad how even some women have adopted this mentality when it comes to rape.

I have personally experienced a grown man probably in his late 50's constantly trying to grope me.  2 days ago he told me I was beautiful then proceeded to grab my breasts. He was smiling and saw absolutely nothing wrong with his actions and he did not understand why I was angry and swearing at him.

It is sad how there are still places in the world, even right here in South Africa where women don't really have rights. They are just seen as objects and are there purely for the pleasure and convenience of men. I don't think you've heard of it but there are still places in the rural parts of South Africa that practise "Ukuthwala" which is the act of abducting young women and forcing them into marriage. These women are sometimes as young as 12!!!

I was shocked the other day when a colleague of mine asked me “how does a man rape his wife? It’s his wife so how can it be rape?” The horror! Is this how some men think? So in your mind because you are married to someone you are entitled to their body? No Man!!! Why do men think that they have a right to our bodies? I do not understand where their sense of entitlement comes from. Some men have zero respect for us women, they see us as merely things to be used and manipulated and used only for their pleasure. It is unfathomable because we are the bringers of life. We are queens who deserve to be loved and treated with the utmost respect. I do not care what a woman is wearing or doing, nobody has the right to treat her in any way that is harmful or disrespectful. There is no excuse!

As a society we need to protect our women and children and hold all those responsible for the mistreatment and abuse of women accountable. I think the problem with men starts from their upbringing. Young boys need father figures who will show them how to treat and respect a woman; all women and not just their mothers.

To all the men out there – you need to do better! You need to start calling each other out when it comes to such things. Enough is enough. All of this begs the question; why do men hate us so much?

Places I'd Love to Visit that my Broke Ass Can't Afford

One day I would love to travel the world and experience new places and cuisines. I love trying new things. I have been to a few places here in South Africa but I can't say I truly experienced them they way I wanted to or should have because I was with my parents. One of those places was Margate, I still need to go back there again and I will some time in the near future.  

There are a few places I'd love to see and experience that are a little further away from home. Places I've seen only on TV that look absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. It has been a dream of mine to see the world since I was old enough to appreciate the good things in life. Here is a list of the top 10 places I would love to visit (in no particular order) :

1. Hawaii 
2. Mauritius
3. Thailand
4. Las Vegas
5. New York City
6. Miami
7. Paris (particularly The Eiffel Tower)
8. Zanzibar
9. The Maldives
10. The Victoria Falls
11. Charlie's Bakery - Cape Town (yes, I'm that broke I can't even afford to travel to the next province)
12. Knysna
13. uShaka Marine World
14. The beaches in Durban

Hopefully some day I won't be such a broke ass and I'll see all, if not most of the places on my list. At the moment I can barely even afford petrol for my car to get me to and from work on the daily (LMAO).

The Day I Got Mugged with my Ex &Thought it was the End of Me

The crime rate in South Africa is quite high. The most recent stats I've read stated that there is an average of 57 murders a day! The robbery stats are probably twice as much. So when you take the occurrences of other crimes into account you realize just how serious the crime problem is. It would be a miracle for one to go through life and even enter late adulthood without ever being a victim of a crime either directly or indirectly but here's a story I don't think you hear often...

My ex and I had been apart for a long time and we weren't on speaking terms really. Thing is the relationship just kind of came to an abrupt end, he never really broke up with me he just started seeing someone else; I think the correct term would be ghosted (you get the picture).

So 3 days before my sister's birthday I get a call from him saying he wants to see me, so after work at about 5 pm I went by his house (well where he was staying) to pick him up and we took a drive. I couldn't just see him at his place because we weren't on speaking terms and everyone around knew that and I didn't feel like explaining myself.... anyways we went for a drive and ended up in West Bank.

I wasn't a very "aware" person at the time, so little did I know the area was notorious for crime but that spot by the beach was beautiful nonetheless. So we parked the car by the rocks and went for a stroll and just talked (I'm sure to this day people think we were doing a lot more than that). We walked along the beach a few minutes, talking along the way and realized it was getting really late so we decided we should probably leave. We had walked say about 10 minutes out then on the way back to the car we see this guy standing on top of like a sort of hill. My heart started pounding at this point because I knew right at that moment we were about to get mugged.

He started making small talk and asking questions like are you from around here? What brings you to this side of town? We were about to proceed to the car but then 2 of his friends showed up in front of us and he then jumped down so we were trapped. The guy closest to me then pulled up his shirt to reveal the biggest knife I have ever seen, it was probably a panga (a huge knife) the size of my arm and I froze. My heart pounded like it was going to explode right out of my chest and I thought "this is how I am going to die". After that everything happened so fast. They then body searched us (the guy searching me kept going over my breasts) and I went numb. In that moment I thought; this cannot be happening right now. I was stripped of my watch because we weren't carrying anything of value and they made him take his sneakers off and ran off with those too.

We raced back to the car so fast after they left only to find that they had found the car before approaching us on the beach. The passenger side window had been smashed with a rock and that's how they managed to open the door. The back seat was tilted over which gave them access to the boot where my handbag was and they had stolen 4 cellphones out of the glove box. We probably lost a combined total of 20 grand of items (give or take) in the space of less than 30 minutes. My guess is that they probably watched us arrive and waited for the right time to strike and boy did they hit the jackpot that day!

We drove straight to the nearest police station with shattered glass all over (I kept finding bits of glass in the car for a while after that) and reported what had just happened. The whole time I felt like this was my fault and that I shouldn't have been meeting up with my ex in secret in the first place. I honestly felt like such a fool. I'm not blaming him because obviously he hadn't planned on us being attacked, it was out of his control but still... what the hell was I thinking?

I called my mom from the police station and apparently I was extremely calm for someone who just got robbed at knife point. I'm a weird person like that. I understood the gravity of what had just transpired but I felt more angry and annoyed at that moment than anything. Then I went from feeling like that to just being done. I was just tired mentally and physically. It had been a long ass day.

Judging by how the muggers looked from the bit I can remember, they can't have been much older than us. They were probably in their late twenties. It's absolutely nuts that while some people that age are starting professional carriers and pursuing their dreams and these guys have turned to a life of crime. Goes to show just how different societal standings are in South Africa I think. It's a sad reality if the world we live in. We can't even go to beautiful isolated places and enjoy them because we'll get robbed or worse killed (which is what the cops said). Apparently we were 1 of the lucky ones and there were instances where other couples were forced into the trunks of their cars and the vehicle was then used to commit another crime and they got killed later.

Here's the worst part of that entire experience; the next day he came to check up on me and we talked and all that. Then later on I go onto social media to find he has put a photo of him and his ex as his profile picture. My heart sank!!! I felt like the biggest fool in the world! I had almost died and for what??? If that wasn't a sign that I should stay far away from the guy then what is?

I wonder how many women have had a similar experience with an ex. I would love to hear their stories because I have never heard of anyone who's had such a dreadful experience with an ex long after the breakup... and lived to talk about it.

I think things in life happen for a reason because after all of this, after everything we went through, I thought a person would at least check on me once in a while. I thought the whole experience would bring us closer together; no not as a couple but as people. Then again, maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way and it was actually a sign that we should stay the hell away from each other. Maybe it didn't mean anything at all...

Why I Hate my Job

Every day I wake up in the morning and ask myself "where the hell are you going?” It's such a drag but I still drag my butt to work anyways. My colleagues are not bad; sure we have our ups and downs but my problem with the job itself is that I don't always get paid on time. It makes my life really difficult because I'm in constant fear of being blacklisted and not being able to afford my own basic necessities. If I didn't have parents to bail me out, I'd be utterly screwed.

I suppose it would make things a little easier to bear if management was upfront and honest and let us know beforehand how things were going. Amongst other things, I hate my job because I no longer find it challenging. I'm not picking up any new skills and it brings me no personal satisfaction. There are no opportunities for advancement nor do we get sent for any kind of training or attend any workshops or seminars that will help us to gain new skills or even improve on existing skills. I'm not saying that we can't do these things for ourselves but I mean it's nice to work for a company that actually invests in and values you as an employee. The company should have some sort of retention strategy in place (in my opinion).

I like to think that I'm a person with a good work ethic but it becomes a challenge for me to wake up and perform not knowing whether or not I will receive my salary at the end of the month. There are never any repercussions in the office when people either do not perform up to standard or don't perform at all. There aren't even repercussions for not showing up at all. I could literally sit here and do nothing all day and management would not do or say anything to me directly about it. I feel like this has left a gap for staff to get away with doing the bare minimum which is counterproductive for the company as a whole and has led to only a select few actually doing the work and others coasting through.

I am a human resources management student and studying while working has opened my eyes to a lot of injustices that go on in the workplace that employees don't do anything about for fear of losing their jobs, even though they are entitled to do or say something and express their grievances without fear of persecution. It makes me wonder just how many companies are actually ripping people off. A colleague of mine tried to ask the manager that deals with payments what was going on and apparently he threatened to close down the office. I was so stressed! 

It's sad how unaware of labour laws some workers are and how companies take advantage especially when it comes to overtime. My lord! People do not get their overtime money and when they do it is not calculated according to the labour laws on overtime which is 1.5 times your normal working rate and 2 times your normal working rate on Sundays. The last time I had to come in on a weekend all we got was a free lunch. I want my cold hard cash!!!

Our company doesn't do salary or performance reviews but we get a bonus at the end of the year (if we are lucky). This is nice but pay increases are even better. I think I'm the only person that has gotten an increase in the past 4 years and even I got an increase only once and if you ask me my salary is still a rip off. It's easy for people to ask me questions like "why don't you just quit?" Believe me I want to but I have bills to pay and this is better than nothing. There are thousands of young South Africans out there that have it worse than me. I'm grateful that I actually have a job to complain about. Our country has such a high unemployment rate. There are people sitting with Master's Degrees that are unemployed and all I have is a National Senior Certificate. If it wasn't for the fact that I work for my uncle; I'd be a statistic too.

Anyways in case you were wondering, I have looked into other avenues to get cash but my best bet at the moment seems like it would be to find alternative employment so that I can finish my studies. My current job is slowing my whole life down. I feel like I take 1 step forward and 2 steps back. As we speak, 1 of my modules for the semester has been cancelled due to non-payment because I did not get paid on time last month. It's the 7th of September and I am still waiting for August's salary. Management has yet to address that. I am now getting calls from the bank because my loan payments are behind and they are threatening to take me to the credit bureau!!! 

As a result if the outstanding salary payment my school has now financially suspended me on top of the fact that the other module was cancelled due to non-payment of the initial payment. I will not receive my results until the payment has been made. I am so frustrated right now... What's a girl to do?

It's actually gotten to a point that I only attend work these days to do my job applications and all my other personal things that require internet because I have very little motivation to do what I was actually hired for. I know it's not right but that's just where I'm at right now. My work attendance is also dwindling, I go to work as and when I please. It costs me money I don't have to get there and get back home everyday. I feel like I'm just sinking deeper and deeper into debt.

I am hopeful that things will improve for me by the end of this year in the form of new employment. As daunting as job hunting is, I refuse to give up. That is not an option.

How to Get the Best out of your Oily, Acne Prone Skin

I have been battling with pimples since puberty but I never had major acne. Just a few annoying pimples here and there and mostly on my forehead that left me with ugly, black spots on my face when they were momentarily gone only to make a reappearance sooner rather than later.

I started seeing a dermatologist when I was about 26 but for my scalp eczema not my acne. I mean I was managing to keep my face under control, sure I had pimples but I had accepted them and they were not a big deal to me. They would disappear eventually... At first I was apprehensive about it because I thought she was just looking to squeeze more cash out of me but I soon realised that it was probably best I listened to her; after all my skin wasn’t at its best.

My dermatologist suggested I switch my daily skin care products and introduced me to a product range called Eucerin. I had tried many products before, some would leave me with swollen eyes and lips and others with a facial rash, and it sucked. I remember an incident in high school where my mom gave me a product on the recommendation from a friend, yeah it got rid of the pimples but my face swelled up like a balloon and my mom forced me to go to school like that. My right eye was huge from the swelling; I could barely read my notes in class (hahaha). I informed the dermatologist of this and she assured me that this product was different; so I gave it a try. My skin started to make really positive and noticeable changes and I was a happy customer.

With the dermatologist's recommendations and my own research, this is how I get the best of my acne prone skin:

I use products from the Eucerin range for my daily cleansing routine. Eucerin is a great product because I find it light and gentle on the face. I alternate between the Eucerin cleansing gel and the Eucerin DermoPurifyer Cleanser (depending on which is available or cheaper in store) to wash my face daily in the mornings and evenings.

After Cleansing I follow with the Eucerin DermoPurifyer Toner. I use a cotton pad and put a small amount on the pad then gently wipe my face with it.  I do this twice daily as well.

The last and final step is the Eucerin DermoPurifyer Mattifying Fluid. The mattyfying fluid moisturizes the face and is very light. It leaves the skin feeling hydrated and soft. I mix this with Cetaphil Daylong SPF 50+ sunscreen. I mix the 2 creams together in the palm of my hand then apply them to my face in a circular motion.

I also make use of a Himalayan Charcoal face mask (purchased from The Body Shop) weekly. I usually use it on a Sunday. It's a mud like mask that you apply to a wet face then leave on to dry. I keep it on my face for 15 to 20 minutes then rinse it off with lukewarm water. I follow it up with my Eucerin moisturizer. During the week if I feel like it I use The Tea Tree Mask from The Body Shop. Tea tree has many benefits including removing impurities and absorption of excess oil.

Additional facial skincare tips:

• Always remove make-up before bed: when I'm too lazy to wash my face I use baby wipes for make-up removal
• Try not to use make up every single day and allow your skin to breathe but if you must; go for light, breathable make up products
• Do not pick at or pop your pimples
• Make sure to drink plenty of water
• Cut down on sugar: I have personally noted that my acne outbreaks are triggered by too much sugar
• Use a light sunscreen that is effective but won't clog your pores
• Make sure you wash your bedding i.e. pillow case regularly so that you sleep on a nice clean pillow 
• Don’t over wash or over exfoliate your face as this will strip your skin of its natural oils and can lead to over production of oils
• Eat clean – follow a healthy diet. Healthy eating does wonders for your skin as it gives your body all the nutrients it needs to look it’s best

That's how I take care of my skin and keep it clean, fresh and acne free. I have a few breakouts every now and again due to hormones when it’s that time of the month; otherwise I have my acne under control. Our bodies are different and react differently to products, so what worked for me might not necessarily be the best option for you but I urge you to give these products a try… see how it goes. May your skin stay beautiful and acne free!

My Abortion Experience

Many women don't speak about this yet a lot of women go through it for various reasons. A whole lot more than one would think and there's this stigma attached to getting abortions and it is something that we as a society should address.

You can never even begin to imagine what it's like until you have to go through it yourself. I know people say things like it's your fault, you should have known better, hell I used to be one of them (I kind of still am). Anyways here's my story:

I had just turned 21 and I felt like my life just wasn't enough. I wanted more; more out of life, my relationships and more for myself. So I ended a 2 and a half year relationship that I didn't see going anywhere and started dating what one would call a "bad boy". He was a bad boy in the sense that he was nothing like my ex who inexperienced with women, he was bold, intelligent and charming but also the kind of man your mom would probably warn you to stay away from.

We were madly in love (or so I thought). He gave me this rush I had never felt before and I loved it. I felt more alive when I was with him and also more myself. When it was good it was great and when it was bad... Well it was awful. I don't know what it was but there was just something about him that I couldn't shake. I wanted him, all of him, but that was just something he couldn't give; I later realized.

Anyways we had been dating a few months and our sex life was great but I had always been careful. In fact in my previous 2 and a half year relationship I had never had unprotected sex, even when I was on birth control. I guess I should have known better but I somehow let him convince me that it was okay... anyways this one time we were lying in bed just talking and he mentioned casually in a conversation that the previous time we were together he had removed the condom while we were having sex. I thought he was playing some kind of a sick joke but he was being dead serious. I immediately just get up and left because I just did not know what else to do at that point, I was furious. Furious at the fact that I had let this happen, furious because I should have felt the difference, furious for the mere fact that I ad trusted me yet he thought it was okay to do such a thing. I mean I thought he loved me and I felt so betrayed. How could he do this to me???

Anyways he told me weeks after the incident and I was starting to notice small changes in my body that I just dismissed. My clothes were tight, my boobs seemed to be growing then I realized that I hadn't had my period in a while. I went downstairs to the nearest store and bought a pregnancy test because I'm a "need to know NOW" kind of person. Yeah, the test came back positive which is exactly what I had feared but had known after all the warning signs - I was pregnant. I knew immediately though that I was not going to be a mom. Having a kid was out of the question. How the hell was I going to explain to my mom who had just thrown me a 21st birthday just a few months ago that I was pregnant and I did not want to be a mom! Not yet.

I called my boyfriend immediately and told him that we needed to talk urgently. He was too busy drinking with his friends at the time to come and talk to me so I ended up telling him via text and he came down immediately. Funny thing was he seemed happy at the news even though I had made it clear that we were not going to keep it. He ended up respecting my decision and helped me find a clinic, which we then visited about a week later. I had to use my grocery allowance from my parents to pay for all of this because I did not want them to know. We went there together and they did an ultrasound and they told me that I was actually 8 weeks and 3 days pregnant and I just went numb. Mind you all this was happening during test season so I was not studying. I was also angry at myself for waiting for so long to go to the clinic.

We scraped some money together and got enough to pay for the procedure. They told me they were going to give me 2 pills to take. I took 1 immediately at the clinic and the other I was instructed to take at a specific time the next day. That second pill was a real mother fucker; it's the one that empties the uterus. I went from being fine to excruciating stomach cramps, diarrhoea and sweating and feeling freezing cold. I have never felt a stomach cramp like that in my life, period pains don't even compare. I was running up and down to the bathroom at res hoping nobody would notice me and ask me what was going on. I was throwing up and I had diarrhoea basically at the same time. I actually tried to position myself on the toilet seat so I could do both at the same time and ended up puking on my inner thighs. Later my roommate came back I was praying she wouldn't notice anything. I tried to be as quiet as I possibly could so she wouldn't see what I was going through.

I tried to get some and was woken up by a sudden movement in my lower stomach and before I could even make it to my door I felt I huge lump coming out of my vagina and blood started gushing down my legs, soaking my pyjamas and I ran to the bathroom with this lump in my pants as fast as I could. I was convinced I would find a baby in my pants and I was absolutely terrified. It was nothing but a huge clumpy mess of blood which I then flushed down the toilet. I washed my blood soaked pants. I don't know how nobody saw or even noticed me because I was afraid it was going to turn into a huge scene and the whole res floor would found out.

I bled for I think it was about a week after that. I did not even attend lectures because I was afraid I would bleed out in front of everyone so I stayed alone in my room until I felt like it was safe.

I know you're probably wondering why I was not taking birth control, well I felt like I never needed it before. I had always used condoms and they worked for me just fine for years so I did not think it was necessary for anything else. I went on the contraceptive injection after the abortion even though I had hated the idea of injecting things into my body. I mean I had been with my previous boyfriend for 2 and a half years without any baby slip ups. We were very responsible and I always try to be. If it was not for my ex "stealthing" I probably never would have gone through any of this. I take full responsibility for my part in the pregnancy. (By the way; stealthing is when your partner removes the condom during sex without your knowledge).

That was the worst and most traumatizing experience of my life. It made me feel weak and guilty and depressed. That was my lowest point in life especially since I felt like I went through all of it by myself. The guy I was dating was not very supportive, he was dealing with his own demons, don't know. We ended breaking up a while later and I was depressed after that. That rest of that year was terrible, I just felt like I had dug myself into a whole I couldn't get out of and I was drowning. I felt scared and alone and my whole life just fell apart.

Eventually he broke up with me (I have no memory of this) I just remember trying to call him and receiving a Facebook message saying and I quote “what do you want, I broke up with you remember!” I felt devastated. After a few weeks I tried to seek help form the school guidance counsellor because I felt like I was dying inside. Everything was just too much for me to handle on my own. I went for 1 session at the end of the year; it didn’t do much for me and never went back…

I tried to start over and move on from that experience but it became too much for me. I ended up moving back home and dropping out of university because I just wanted a fresh start; actually I was academically excluded for poor performance and I did not bother to appeal. I was done. It took me a long time to actually feel good about myself again and learn to love and forgive myself for what I did. I never in a million years imagined I would go through anything like that.

I know many of you are against my decision and think it was murder and that it was wrong; but I believe I have the right to decide what happens to my body. I did not plan on getting pregnant, it was due to stealthing. I thought I was with someone I could trust and sadly I was wrong. The last thing I would expect someone to do is to remove a condom during sex. I have always been sexually responsible and I did everything in my power not to fall pregnant my entire sexually active life. To this day I do not regret my decision. I now know better than to completely trust my partner and that I should always take extra precautions. It was a very difficult experience and I have not been in a serious relationship since.

Abortion is not a topic we should shy away from. We should talk about it and address such issues as women and remove the stigma behind it. I did not want to talk about what I was/ had gone through with anyone for fear of being judged. There were days when all I did was cry and sleep and I didn't know who to turn to. My mom is not the type of person who understands any of this so I never felt like I could talk to her and when I finally did all she said was that that's just what boys do. I stupidly tried talking to an ex because he was the closest person to me at some point and he basically said I deserved everything I was going through which only depressed me even more.

Fast track to today; I am happy and healthy and glad to report that my fertility was not affected by the whole process because that was my greatest fear. I did have a bit of a cervical cancer scare, don't know whether or not it is related but I am pleased to report that I am happy and healthy.

There were times when it felt like I would never get through this experience but I did. It hasn't overshadowed my life or made me feel negative towards getting pregnant (on purpose) in the future. I spoke to my gynaecologist who said he doesn't see any reason why it would affect my fertility and that everything in terms of my reproductive organs looks healthy. I do hope to have kids one day when I meet the right person.

I learnt a great deal about myself through the whole process. I never thought I was as strong as I am until I didn't have a choice to be. I do take extra precautions now when I am in a relationship but I haven't had a serious relationship since.

Why You Should Join the Gym

I recently became a member of Virgin Active after debating with myself for months whether or not it would be worth the money. It was!!! Not only did I get 1 on 1 training during my orientation week but they offer a variety of activities that I wasn't aware of beforehand. When I joined I just thought I would go there and use equipment and go home. I also scored myself a free water bottle for signing up.

Not only do they have top class facilities, but there is also a variety of different machinery that offer different exercises as well as various fitness classes you can join such as cycling and aerobics. The gym is equipped with the latest in training equipment so believe me, you are getting your money’s worth. I was surprised to find that they even have an app you can download on your phone where you can access all the information you need as well as book your classes and check training schedules in a matter of minutes. The app allows you to view your monthly visits, set fitness goals and join challenges where you can see where you rank with your fellow gym members.

The gym is a great place to go when you just want to get away and de-stress.  Being surrounded by like-minded people who are also pursuing their own personal goals is a great motivator. What's great is that there is no judgment; everyone's minding their own business and should you need any guidance or assistance with equipment or exercises there are trainers on the floor available to assist. They will show you the correct techniques.

Exercise releases endorphins (hormones produced by the central nervous system and pituitary gland) which trigger a positive feeling in your body that just makes you feel bloody awesome. One of the benefits of exercise is the wonders it does for your skin. Sweat helps you eliminate the toxins in your body and helps to unclog pores that cause pimples and blemishes. (I'm no health expert; this is something I read in some article a while back). The one major benefit for me is that it has somehow helped keep my scalp eczema under control and I also have fewer breakouts.

I find money motivating and I do not like wasting it; the fact that I am coughing up money every month for my gym membership is kind of motivation enough for me to go. No matter how crappy or lazy I feel before I get there; all of that goes out the window as soon as I set foot on the premises. Seeing people busy pushing their bodies to the limit makes me want to do the same so that I can also get fitter and stronger.

Joining the gym has been a positive experience for me. I am more energetic, less stressed and no to mention I've been getting better quality sleep. My greatest motivation was the "banging body" transformation that's happening slowly but surely. I can see a difference in my leg and stomach muscles and my body just feels like it is functioning better as a whole. It feels good to know that my body is getting stronger and stronger and I keep pushing for more. 

Gyming can be very addictive but it's not a bad thing to be addicted to right? Just make sure that you have some rest days to allow your muscles to recover and listen to your body when it needs rest. Most important is to follow a healthy diet if you want to see great results and keep yourself hydrated.

Finding a New Job - A Time Consuming Nightmare!

So I've been trying to land a new job for over a year now with no luck. I have read so many articles and tips from how to make a great CV and cover letter to interview tips. I have yet to land a single interview even. I literally go through hundreds of job posts per day and still... no luck!

The way the economy is set up right now makes it important to have a good or at least reliable source of income. Personally, I am job hunting so that I can afford a better lifestyle and be able to actually enjoy life. My current job is not reliable when it comes to the payments section. Right now I am majorly stressed and faced with a lot of uncertainty as to if and when I will be able to pay my bills because they just keep piling up. The last thing I want is to be blacklisted.

I never understood just how difficult it could be to find employment until I had to do it myself. I have been lucky thus far in that I have gotten my past jobs through people I knew when I wanted them and never had to actively look until now and boy is it a hassle. It's been a; "I have a job for you, you can start on Monday" sort of thing. Not many people are this lucky.

I spend my days faxing, searching and emailing whenever I have free time. The paper isn't much help as it seems to be mostly filled with ads for anything but employment. You'd think someone who's studying human resources management would be able to find a job in no time... nope! It stresses me out because I keep thinking about how I can't really afford much. I live with my mom so I don't pay rent; my only expenses are all of my personal things, cellphone, school fees and petrol. Had I not been living at home still I'd struggle to cover even those. Did I mention how costly job hunting is? I fax for free because I use the company's fax line but can you imagine how much time and money people have to spend going to the internet cafe. Let's not even talk about the travelling costs involved for some when they do land interviews and end up spending their last sent in the hopes that this time they'll get the job.

My main problems with finding employment are that I either don't have the qualification required since I am still studying or I don't have enough relevant experience. I have a cousin that seems to have no problem in the job hunting department: How does she do it??? That woman has changed jobs twice since I started my current job. Jobs on offer these days cater for degree holders and experienced professionals mostly and since I am neither of those, it is really tough for me. Even degree holders are struggling to find employment when these colleges and universities have graduate placement programs in place. I guess it depends on the college/university one attends. 

The other day I personally drove around looking for these employment agencies around here only to find that they had closed down or they only assisted with jobs for cashiers, office cleaners etc. Not what I had in mind at all! So back to faxing I went. I did research on CV tips and how to write great cover letters, reviewed my CV and made some changes so hopefully, my job hunting will pay off soon.

I have heard people say that the best way to find a job is through people you know. Unfortunately, sometimes people say they want to help you with no intention of actually helping you. Sometimes you get people who will be very eager to take your CV and try to help you find a job but that CV copy never actually leaves them and is never actually passed on. I really don't understand why people do that. Why volunteer to do something when you know damn well you won't do it. Your own "friends" could be guilty of doing this.

The youth in South Africa is under skilled and underpaid and a lot still needs to be done to rectify this. It needs to be fixed right from secondary school level. High schools need to work more on skills development and teaching kids useful skills that will help them obtain and create employment even without a tertiary qualification. Jobs require people to have driver's licenses too and many people can't even afford to go and write the learner's license test. Schools can step in this department as well by providing opportunities for pupils to go and write their learner's license test as part of the school curriculum, I suppose the Department of Education would need to step in here. This would give matriculants a greater chance of being able to obtain a job should they not go straight to tertiary after matric. A lot more emphasis needs to be placed on giving kids job shadowing opportunities and vacation work even from high school level.  

Our government can't be entirely responsible for creating employment and education opportunities for the youth, private companies must do their bit as well. Many kids in South Africa go to schools that do not even have proper facilities and they go to school hungry which impacts on their ability to learn. As a society, we need to take active steps in youth development and not rely solely on the government to provide everything.

They say the best way to go these days is to start your own thing, be your own boss but unfortunately I don't have any talents that I can make money off of right now.  It so true when they say it takes money to make money. All of this faxing and driving around is not cheap. If anyone has ANY suggestions, please feel free to give them to me. I'm all ears. 

In the meantime here are a few suggestions of websites to register, upload your CV and complete an online profile to increase your chances of finding a job:

• PNet (www.pnet.co.za)
• Careerjunction (www.careerjunction.co.za)
• Careers24 (www.careers24.co.za)
• LinkedIn (www.linkedin.com)
• Jobplacements (www.jobplacements.com)

One thing I can tell you is that many people I have spoken to are sleeping on the power of social networks such as LinkedIn. Joining can expose you to so many worldwide employment opportunities; especially if you're an experienced professional. There are also learning opportunities available for you to gain some expert or industry skills. I would advise you to sign up, you have nothing to lose and so much to gain. You never know where your next business opportunity could come from and being in touch with like-minded individuals in your field or area of expertise can get you so far in life.

There are plenty more out there. These are just the ones I have used and registered on. Happy job hunting!